conclusionintroductiontonetopic
Read the introduction to a personal statement.Usually, when people talk about "rocky” relationships, it’s with a frown, but mine has enriched my life. I became fascinated with rocks when I was really young, and throughout my childhood you could usually find me with my pockets bulging from whatever stony treasures I’d scavenged that day. When my science teacher taught us a unit on geology, I realized that my fascination could become an exciting career that could also help me make good money. Obtaining an internship to work on the geological exhibit at the museum is an important step on my road to being a geologist.
Read the introduction to a personal statement.(1) Usually, when people talk about "rocky” relationships, it’s with a frown, but mine has enriched my life. (2) I became fascinated with rocks when I was really young, and throughout my childhood you could usually find me with my pockets bulging from whatever stony treasures I’d scavenged that day. (3) When my science teacher taught us a unit on geology, I realized that my fascination could become an exciting career that could also help me make good money. (4) Obtaining an internship to work on the geological exhibit at the museum is an important step on my road to being a geologist.
casual slangextreme opinionsfactual evidenceword choice
Read the sentence from a personal statement.My trip to the car show got me thinking about my future.Which is the best way to revise and expand the sentence to relay the writer’s experiences more precisely?
Read the sentence.When I attended the aquarium’s marine camp, I had a pleasant time studying nocturnal sea animals like the squirrelfish.Which word should be replaced with a more precise word?
Read the conclusion to a personal statement about Javed’s summer as a lifeguard.(1) Overall, my time spent working as a lifeguard has changed my life and shaped my future. (2) Not only have I gained valuable physical skills, but I also have learned a lot about responsibility. (3) That knowledge has helped me hone my leadership skills. (4) I’m excited to use all that I’ve learned to help me succeed in a career with the Coast Guard.
Read Marie’s conclusion to her personal statement.Ever since our class designed a website, I’ve been excited to learn more about how to write my own computer programs. Getting that small glimpse into programming made me realize how much more there is to know.
In the body of a personal statement, the writer should include
descriptive paragraphformal argumentpersonal statementpersuasive essay
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